I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
