this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
