He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize