so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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