I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
