Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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