I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
