So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
