I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
