Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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