one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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