i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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