So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
