So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
God, you're like boner-b-gone
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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