just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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