Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
