This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
