Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
After last night, I could never be a politician.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize