we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
