just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
