yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
