yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
