I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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