I think I died a long time ago.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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