Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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