***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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