I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize