He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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