i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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