the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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