was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
