Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
