I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
