I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
