Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
