I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
