Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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