Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
