think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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