I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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