just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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