Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
