Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
