ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
