He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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