If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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