Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
