Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
