so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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