I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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