Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
