he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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