having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
These tits shall not be calmed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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