You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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