bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I party with great urgency now.
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