this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
