It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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