just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just high enough for therapy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
